Caring for a child on the autism spectrum is part of a life journey filled with lots of love, dedication, challenges, ups and downs, but also a lot of learning. Life may never be the way you imagined it. Yes, unfortunately, things don’t always go according to our plans. But having a child on the spectrum is not a punishment, on the contrary, it is an exceptional opportunity to learn to be a better person. Just think, who else rejoices in the smallest things as much as you do? But one of the biggest mistakes that parents and caregivers make during that life journey is that they very often focus entirely on their child’s needs – therapies, sticking to routines, emotional support for the child, complete dedication to his or her progress – and in doing so, they unconsciously put themselves last. But the truth is simple and very important: in order to be a good support for our child, we must also take care of ourselves.
You are not a selfish parent if you take care of yourself
Self-care is not a luxury, it is not a “sin,” but a necessity. When you are exhausted, stressed, or facing serious emotional challenges and storms, it is much more difficult to respond calmly and patiently to your child’s needs. Self-care is a way to preserve your strength – and you will need that strength for both yourself and your child.
Accept that you do not have to be a “perfect parent”
There are no perfect parents, nor perfect days. It is completely okay to experience moments of fatigue, lethargy, frustration, perhaps self-pity, and doubt in your parenting abilities. Allow yourself to be human. Accepting your own limits is a sign of maturity, not weakness.
Seek and accept support
You don’t have to do it all alone. Talking to a partner, friend, family member, or another parent of a child with an autism spectrum disorder can make a huge difference. If you have the opportunity, professional support from a psychologist or counselor can also be a valuable resource. And no, there is no shame or weakness in asking for support when you need it.
Find time for yourself
Self-care doesn’t always require a big investment and doesn’t have to mean a long vacation and the use of many resources. Sometimes 10 minutes of silence, a hot coffee in peace, a short walk and enjoying nature or listening to your favorite music are enough. Small moments that will “recharge the batteries” are important.
Take care of your health too
Not only mental health, but also physical health and taking care of your own body is important. Get regular sleep, eat healthy as much as possible, and exercise regularly – these things can significantly affect your mood and energy. The body and mind are connected – when one suffers, the other suffers too.
Never forget why you do everything you do
On days when it’s hard, when you’re facing serious challenges, focus on the love you have for your child. Remind yourself that in this huge world full of challenges, you are his security, support, and greatest ally. It’s important to be here, it’s important to remain your child’s greatest ally, and for that to happen, you have to take care of yourself.
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Caring for a child with autism spectrum disorder is not a sprint, it is a marathon that often tests your endurance.
Allow yourself to rest and accept the fact that you too need support and understanding. You are also an important person. It is not selfish. And never forget – the well-being of your child with autism spectrum disorder depends to a large extent on your well-being.
Prepared by:
Ana-Marija Ciglenjak Simonovska
